i wan u

one day.. i was feeling too free..

thus, i start surfing my frens' blog..

found jun212 blog..

she speaks about her mum...

these really hit me.

flashing back...

since i was std 1 until now..

my mum seldom.

erm.

or i shud say never attend any of my school activities included parents' day...

graduation day..

any big day la.

ive never seen her face downstage.

i had couples of performance in school for past 11 yrs of schooling.

but..

unfortunately..

no0ne downstage screaming my name... or snapshots..

nothing.

sdnly..

i feel so miserable.

so...

lost.

i rmb somebody told me about my bro

"he has his 1st tooth fall"

"he's in std1~"

"he has he's 1st certificate"

so on.

i have couples of question to ask..

& i rly wonder do my mum rly cn ans it.

1. do you know when i had my 1st tooth?

2. do you know when was my chickenpox attack?

3. do you know what i have for my UPSR?

4. do you know who is my teacher?

5. do you know how i go to school evryday?

6. do you know my schoolbadge number?

7. do you know when was my 1st period?

8. do you know what colour i like?

9. do you know im a top student in school?

10. do u know how much i want u to be beside me?

yes.

i know u pay evrything for evry of my need

but cn u pay love that i really need?

perhaps

u cnt.

people always ask me

"why dint u stay with ur mum in singapore"

i was like...

trying hard to escape that question

cuz i dunno how to ans.

i wonder.

wonder why things comes like this.

evrything in my life...

u noe thru somebody, something

eg: i talk to u thru msn, phonecalls...u noe things about me thru er yi, or xiao yi..

but den.

we cnt manage to speak face to face...

anytime, anywhr

it's different u noe~

different.

when i have problem...

i cn just talk to ahma, er yi.... & some of my frens

i wana talk to u...

but how?

i got nothing much to express

my comfortable with my affluent life..

adapted.

no worries.

moreover

there's nothing i cn do to change facts